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Charlie Sheen is one lucky effing bastard.

In what quite possibly is the sweetest deal in legal history, Charlie was sentenced to a 30-day jail sentence for pleading guilty to a misdemeanor assault. (For that time he got strung out on blow and chased his wife with a machete knife.)

The thing is, Charlie will spend very little time in jail…and when we say very little, we mean none at all. His all-star lawyer convinced the system to let Charlie carry out his sentence at Promises Rehab Facility on the beautiful beaches of Malibu. This won't be Charlie's first time at the facility and as we understand it, his "30 day" sentence doesn't mean he has to stay there for all 30 days.

When Charlie arrives to check-in to Promises on August 23rd, he will receive a credit for "time served." That means, upon check-in, he can then promptly check-out without any hassle.

Well that's just so convenient, huh?!

Hey, what's that noise? It's like a harsh pounding sound combined with the sober screeches of a dying wildebeest?

Oh, must be Lindsay Lohan catching wind of this story in her cell room, pounding her head against the cement walls of UCLA….which is SOOOO not Promises.

Once again, Charlie you cause a great amount of distress with minimal punishment. Can't wait to see what Santa brings you next Christmas!

[Image via WENN.]